Dang. My Shoulder Hurts.

Not a lot.  But enough to cause a few sleepless nights.  And not because it hurts so much I can't sleep.  Actually it's just an annoying ache.  The sleepless nights are a result of the annoying little voice in my head that says, "What if its more than an injury?"

Regarding the shoulder: I firmly believe that our bodies sends us messages. Interestingly, it is a new annoyance, and on the left side where I  had the trauma of a few breast cancer surgeries.  I have decided that instead of communicating back to this shoulder via fear, (which typically manifests as tightness and pain), I'm trying the acupuncture route.  Interestingly, a femur full of needles is highly relaxing and that hour on the acupuncturist's table is full of moments of breath and meditation on my part.  I have to wonder when I leave, is it the relaxation that dulls the pain, a powerful nerve signal from one quadrant of my body to another, or a combination of both?

Whatever the case may be it seems to be helping.  Again, I'm not entirely sure if its just acceptance or acupuncture but it does seem to be helping.

That said, I'm still scared sometimes. I can wrap my brain around the knowledge that fear doesn't serve me, but my heart doesn't always listen.  I'm not sure I can count on acupuncture or even my beloved yoga practice for completely eliminating that anxiety.

So what are my choices?  Two years post C- word (cancer for those of you who don't know me and may  have just stumbled onto my blog)  and I try to find moments in every day for reflection and gratitude.  It's a new practice and I have found it as meaningful and necessary in my life as my yoga practice and my family life.  Days without reflection leave me feeling irritable and unbalanced.  April and May were incredibly busy and there were too few of those gratitude moments.  June is here, we are days away from being summer island residents, and I'm am breathing a big sigh of thank God it's June breath.

My husband took the big kids to the cabin.  Envious that I could not join them, but today's gratitude moment was a text picture from him of tonight's sunset overlooking Lake Superior.  There are many of those in my near future and it almost makes me giddy with happiness just thinking about it. And in thinking about it, I notice my shoulder doesn't hurt. Hmmmmmm. 

Yoga and cancer

As a practicing yogini at the time of a cancer diagnosis I have written quite a bit about my experiences healing through yoga.  For me it became more than an opportunity to develop strength, it was an opportunity to find control in chaos and peace in the midst of a terribly challenging period in my life.  Now, I find joy in teaching others a way to experience that same connection with their body and mind.

Recently The Mesothelioma Center asked me to spread their wisdom on the  more updated information on the benefits of yoga for cancer patients.  Here is the guest post:

For thousands of years, people have practiced yoga to improve their physical and mental health. While healthy individuals often use yoga to boost their strength, flexibility and balance, mesothelioma patients can turn their practice into a form of treatment.

As unorthodox as it sounds, yoga is actually regarded as an alternative cancer therapy. A regular yoga practice can relieve both the physical symptoms and the emotional stress that mesothelioma patients experience.

Physical Benefits of Yoga for Cancer Patients

Hatha yoga classes provide the most physical benefits for mesothelioma patients. These classes offer some exercise but do not require a large amount of physical exertion. Poses done in Hatha yoga classes are less rigorous than poses done in more advanced styles of yoga, and the patient is free to settle into the pose for several minutes and reap the full physical benefits.

Yoga helps maintain strength and muscle tone at a time when cancer patients could easily lose their muscle mass. It can also help stimulate the appetite and improve a patient’s quality of sleep.

Yoga poses are designed to stimulate internal organs and open certain pathways. Certain poses can help open the chest and make it easier for mesothelioma patients to breathe. These poses include:

·         Cobra pose

·         Low lunge

·         Upward-facing dog

·         Extended side angle

Despite common thought, yogi practitioners do not need to get their feet behind their head to reap enjoy physical benefits. An Indian study revealed that even yogic relaxation exercises can improve appetite, sleep, bowel habits and feelings of peace and tranquility.

Mental Benefits of Yoga for Cancer Patients

Anxiety, depression and fear are common emotional symptoms of mesothelioma that a yoga practice can serve as an outlet for. Dhyana – the meditation-focused discipline of yoga – contributes to most of these benefits.

Carving out a space on the yoga mat to practice this meditation allows patients to clear their minds of their worries about their health. Even spending a short period of time meditating can provide these benefits - in one study, as little as 30 minutes of yoga was found to increase mental and physical alternates and relaxation.

Source: Bower, J, et al. "Yoga for Cancer Patients and Survivors." Cancer Control . 12.3 (2005) <http://oshit.info/pdf/Yoga/3.pdf>.

Author bio: Faith Franz is a writer for the Mesothelioma Center. She combines her interests in whole-body health and medical research to educate the mesothelioma community about the newest developments in cancer care.

The 2012 Courage is Contagious Project Scholarship Recipients

 

"The past few years have brought challenges to my life that I never could have dreamed of. Marriage, five children, a professional career and breast cancer all by the age of 37. It wasn't easy, but I found strength through faith, family and friends"

 -Kandi, The first Courage is Contagious scholarship recipient 

Over the past two weeks my great friend and 5ive for Women magazine creator Jen Theisen and myself, with the advisement and  emotional support (yes, we needed the emotional support), of a few others had to make the decision to choose from many incredible women to receive the Madeline Island Retreat scholarship.  It was borderline comedic how often I had to pull out the Kleenex box.  I remember thinking that surely I won't cry as I read through this pile of incredible stories again.  But each time a different fragment of a story spoke to me and I was a blithering mess.

Without a doubt every nominee was deserving.  Every nomination spoke to us, and as we narrowed it down we agreed that the concept of rewarding a courageous woman with a healing retreat opportunity was......well, contagious.  We only hope (legs crossed in lotus) that each year we can offer more and more of these scholarships.

Our first recipient is Kandi.  Her story spoke to me personally as a survivor.  Even though having cancer is not a pre-req for receiving this award, I am acutely aware of the battle a woman faces dealing with cancer.  The emotional side of it is multiplied when your are the mother of young children who mean everything to you (and you to them).  Her sister-in-law Tina wrote the nomination:

The person I would like to nominate is Kandi, my sister-in-law.  Kandi has inspired me in ways that words cannot describe.  I can only comment by saying that I feel I have become a changed person by watching her these past few years.  She is honestly one of the most “courageous, inspiring women “I know.

 Kandi just turned 40 this past December.  We were grateful to see her celebrate this milestone.  Kandi was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer at age 37.   Kandi’s cancer did spread beyond her breasts.  As a result she endured a double mastectomy with lymph node removal, chemotherapy, radiation, breast reconstructive surgery, and a complete hysterectomy. 

Kandi would say her most precious accomplishment is her five children ranging in age from 7 to 13.   She is also the wife to my brother and the Director of Special Education and Student Services for the Wrightstown School District, located right outside of Green Bay.  During her battle with cancer she continued on with her full-time career.   She had to persevere because it was also at that time when my brother lost his job for a year, adding additional stress to an already “scary and stressful reality”. 

Kandi’s faith and her belief in God has been a pillar of strength for her.  She and her family are active members of St. Nicholas Parish.   She uses that strength to continue to help others through difficult times.  Her faith and her personal experience with cancer recently empowered my Father who was just diagnosed with Stage 4 prostate cancer.  Kandi has helped my Father with his personal battle in ways that other family members could not.  She was able to provide hope to him from a place that none of us have ever been to.  We have been so grateful to have her provide that comfort for him.  My Father tears up every time he speaks of how she is helping him.

In addition to motherhood, working, and maintaining a very active household, Kandi also coaches her only daughter’s soccer and softball team.  Kandi and my brother, Troy, have always valued health and wellness and they instill that value into their children.  Having four boys and a daughter, they are very active members of a booster club that supports their children in soccer, softball, baseball, football, basketball and wrestling.  Kandi loves the outdoors and values the time spent with her Mother and Stepfather in Door County and at their lake home.  In addition to staying active, Kandi also tries to eat healthy.  She is a vegetarian, and she is constantly researching healthy foods/diets that will promote health and wellness.

Kandi states that one of the professionals that has helped her most (and is still helping her) is her Integrative Medicine Clinician/Counselor.  She has been seeing this clinician since her diagnosis of cancer and this clinician has been encouraging Kandi to begin a yoga practice.  Kandi recently told me, “Now is the time”.  She wants to learn more about yoga and begin her own practice.  I cannot think of a better way for Kandi to learn about the benefits of yoga and wellness-- if she were selected to spend a few days with Amy Annis on Madeline Island. 

I would love to be a part of providing this once in a life time opportunity to Kandi because she has given so much to me and others.  As I said earlier, I am a changed person because of her.  She has provided me with hope to know that when times get unbearably tough, there is an inner strength that knows no bounds.  She is the living proof of that. 

The picture I am including is a picture of Kandi handing out Dilly Bars at our family’s annual Easter Egg Hunt.  She was the winner of the Family’s March Madness NCAA Bracket Standings.  She actually beat out all of my brothers and the other men in the competition.  She spent her winnings on buying Dilly Bars and bringing dessert for our entire family.   

I think this picture (above) captures many of Kandi’s qualities, such as her generosity, love for children, and of course her tenacity to persevere and “come out on top”. 

Tina will be joining Kandi for our Fall Yoga and Wellness Retreat on September 23rd-26 on Madeline Island.  It will be, as Kandi so eloquently put it, "a celebration of  the spirit of women." There are spaces still available for this retreat.

In closing,  I am sharing Kandi's words as she was told of her upcoming adventure:

"I feel so honored and blessed to be one of the recipients of The Courage is Contagious scholarship. What a wonderful celebration of the spirit of woman. I accept this on behalf of all those women who went before me offering advice, support, tears and trials. I couldn't have made it through diagnosis, surgeries, chemotherapy and radiation without all of them. It has taught me that we all have an inner warrior. I agree, the Courage is Contagious! I strongly believe that it is now my calling to help those that come after me offering support, experience and motivation. When I am on Madeline Island finding my inner peace, I will keep all of those who are fighting the battle, those that are winning the battle and those that have lost their battle in my thoughts and prayers. You continue to motivate me to live each day to the fullest and make the time to remain healthy"

It will be an honor to share the beauty of Madeline with Kandi and the soon to be announced other recipients.  I have the distinct joy and pleasure of surprising another nominee tomorrow night (I am sooooooooo excited!) Feelin a bit Ed McMahon like with these great surprises. Stay tuned.

My thoughts on "What to say to a Newly Diagnosed Cancer Patient"

Kris Carr's blog: Love it!

As a survivor, I gravitate towards finding strength in what I do have control over. And I look for people who have that ingrained sense of positivity in how they live life.  I don't think anyone does this better than Kris Carr. So I like reading her work, following her great advice on health, and most of all I like her spunk and spitfire attitude on surviving cancer.

I follow her blog Crazy, Sexy, Life, and once in a while I'm  privileged to write for it.  Today's post: What to say to a Newly Diagnosed Cancer Patient was written by yours truly. If anything I hope I was able to convey how important the messages are that we send to the recently diagnosed. Be aware and be available....it is the greatest gift.

Point A to Point B

Recently, I had one of those experiences where someone says something to me and I literally think about it for days. I mull, ponder, consider, and write about it.  Yep, that is what I do.  Not over the very basic statement like, "please pass the guacamole"  but often something very insightful that reminds me to also always be mindful of what I say  to other people.

Point A

This time the statement caused a very positive reflection and actually made me quite teary.  Thinking about it  reminded me of many of the reasons I feel grateful.  It was spoken from the lips of my  friend Lucinda who is an incredible  photographer.  She was on Madeline Island taking some pictures for Madeline Island Yoga Retreats.  Halfway between the shoot she stated, "this is so much better than the last one I did with you."  Simple comment, but I knew what she meant and remembering it momentarily took my breath away.  Our last photo shoot was actually quite sensitive as I had just started to lose hair from chemo treatments and all of my yoga teaching was on a health-hold.  Looking back at those pictures I remember vividly how the emotional pain cut deeper than any of the surgeries or treatments ever could.



Point B

 To sum it up, it reminded me of how many of the survivors I know pull an incredible strength from somewhere deep within themselves. I look back at that first photo shoot (point A) to the pictures I just received from Lucinda today (point B) and am very grateful. And, honestly......I feel better than ever before.  Life is a little bit sweeter knowing what I can do and that when obstacles present themselves in my path, there is a potential for even more strength.

So thanks for that my thoughtful friend.  And a shout out to all of my sexy survivor buddies too.

Doctors Recommending Yoga for Cancer Patients

Guest post by Jillian McKee: blog author of Center Yourself 

Anybody who has had any experience with yoga can explain how they feel after a good session of stretching, breathing, and meditating. Most will say they feel calm, energized, and have an overall feeling of well-being. Doctors are taking note of the effect yoga can have and are recommending their cancer patients to give yoga a try.

Though yoga cannot cure cancer, it is noted by the American Cancer Society to "enhance quality of life for some patients with cancer." Yoga has been shown through studies to reduce or relieve symptoms of various diseases or conditions, like asthma, diabetes, heart disease and cancer.

The University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center led a study several years ago focusing on women who had had surgery for breast cancer. The sixty-one women in the study were each undergoing a six week radiation treatment. Half of the women participated in a yoga class twice a week; the others did not. The women who practiced yoga during their radiation treatment period felt that they were in better health than they were previously. They were also less tired during the day. Some cancer patients have reported an increased flexibility where surgeries had previously limited mobility. The breathing exercises in yoga have also helped some patients to calm themselves more easily and sleep better. Though the physical improvements from a consistent yoga routine have shown improvement in the overall health of the body, there hasn't been any measurable improvement in depression or anxiety in patients.

Yoga can help more than just women recovering from breast cancer: those recovering from mesothelioma have found that they have an increased life expectancy by practicing yoga.

One theory behind how yoga helps cancer patients is that tumors feed on stress. By taking time to relax and meditate through yoga, the body is able to unwind and send a type of positive energy toward the tumors, depriving them of what they need. With no stress to feed off of, the tumors die and the cancer is gone. Though this is not proven, many feel the results.
Yoga has great potential to help improve the quality of life of cancer patients. Though it is not a cure, it can certainly help aid recovering cancer patients in strengthening their bodies and regaining their health. However, it is always important to discuss practicing yoga with a doctor before beginning a program.

Jillian McKee is a yoga enthusiast and cancer activist. She works as the Complementary Medicine Advocate at the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance. Her time is spent mostly on outreach efforts and spreading information on complementary and alternative medicine use in cancer treatment. You can contact her at jilliansmckee@gmail.com and check out the Cancer Alliance at @canceralliance on Twitter and Facebook.com/mesotheliomacancer.

Just in Time: Sunscreen Safety



Best sunscreen for kids: all top-rated products
 contain either zinc or titanium minerals to help cut UVA
exposures for sunscreen users.


For years I faithfully slathered myself and my kids with sunscreen all summer.  Spending our summer days on Lake Superior, I was hyper mindful of how fast one of my fair skinned babes could get burned.  But as many of you know, I am a recent cancer survivor and my attention has been redirected to all of the chemicals our family comes in contact with on a daily basis.  Some of it I can't control.  But at the very least I can be a conscious consumer and limit the toxicity that crosses our paths.

So, as I’ve been planning our summer months ahead I’ve been scanning sunscreen labels for the past several weeks trying to make sense out of the countless choices.  Admittedly, I didn’t know what I was looking for until today when a very nice link appeared on my email list.  The Environmental Working Group has put together a great list of sunscreens to keep you and your family a little safer.

So I’m sharing….. And just for the purpose of reiteration I’m highlighting two ingredients to put on your own personal blacklist when you are filling your cart with sun safety.

Vitamin A:  Who knew?  Apparently studies suggest that this ingredient may speed the development of skin tumors and lesions. The FDA study of vitamin A’s photocarcinogenic properties raises the possibility that it results in cancerous tumors when used on skin exposed to sunlight. So put it in sunscreen? Um, no thank you.

Oxybenzone – This is the most common active ingredient in sunscreen and was in every bottle in my medicine cabinet.   Experts raise concerns about its use in sunscreens for children because of its ability to penetrate the skin (hello bloodstream) and its connection with allergic reactions and potential hormone disruption.  The hormone disruption point really gets me as my personal tumor was related to some crazed estrogen and progesterone hormones (many breast cancers are) and I can’t help but wonder if these chemicals are related to the rise in cancer incidence.

The good news is that there is quite a list of safe(r) products on the market.  One that especially caught my eye was The Livestrong brand that can be found on Amazon.com.  Leave it to Livestrong to be on the forefront of anti-cancer products. 

Being Happy

My happy husband and his friend, the smiling lamb :)

I have a theory about happiness. The opportunity to be joyful presents itself time and time again to us throughout our lives. Eventually, with enough life experiences (both good and bad), we have a deeper connection and are less resistant to it. This really struck me as I read Happiness peaks at 85 in MindBodyGreen today. The article suggested that by simplifying life we find more beauty in it and waste less time on things that aren’t important.

My happiness tank is full today, to the brim. By today I am referring to this stage of my life. I am a 41 year old mother of four, a yoga teacher, and a cancer survivor, all three of which are daily reminders of what I have to be happy about.

The first two are within themselves powerful reasons to be happy. But at age 39, prior to the cancer diagnosis, I didn’t feel the same sense of happiness, or maybe it was contentment,  that I do now. I wasn’t unhappy but I did sweat the small stuff. Cancer was a powerful teaching tool, reminding me of what really is important in life and a constant reminder to find satisfaction in the little things that made me happy on a daily basis. I now find fulfillment in a smooch from the six year old, the sun melting our Wisconsin snow, and the promise of Madeline Island months ahead. 

Science tells us that there is a link between physical health and emotional outlook. We understand that stress leads to a spike in the hormone cortisol which suppresses our immune system. Doctors at Mayo clinic recommend alternative health therapies to cancer patients who are encouraged to find ways to reduce stress through yoga, meditation and massage.

Since becoming a survivor I have incorporated 3 practices that I believe have contributed to my high happiness quotient. No scientific studies to back these up but they are working for me:

1.       Do what you love, love what you do. Too afraid to sink my heart and soul into my passion for yoga, I never developed it as a career until I after got cancer. I obsessed over a fear of being criticized and worried about being a credible teacher. Funny how a bout with crazy cancer gave me the confidence to hone my skills in teacher trainings and develop a yoga concept that brings me daily joy. I believe now that like older adults, when life experiences are ugly you become willing to take risks in order to be fulfilled in life. It is similar to learning a handstand, once you overcome the fear factor, life is great even when flipped upside down.

2.       Daily meditation:  This is a new one and I'm convinced it works. I sneak it in whenever I can and even as a busy mom never feel guilty about it. Pure and simple: there is power in connecting to your breath. 

3.       Daily writing:  This month’s issue of O Magazine has a great article on Optimism. It states, “Cancer patients who talked about their feelings had to schedule fewer doctor visits. “ I didn’t just talk about it, I wrote, blogged, emailed, and texted. I did my best to infuse humor and irony into my cancer journey and perhaps even overshared. But pouring my heart out on paper saved a hell of a lot of money in therapy. And I will always be grateful for those who read, listened, and wrote back. The writing I did then translated into a passion for writing in daily life.  Just the practice of jotting down one or two things that make me happy at the end of the day can boost my mood.

There is one more happiness idea I have that I believe rides on the back of the aging process. As we mature we learn to project happiness. The most beautiful people I know are the ones that are thrilled for the good fortune of others.  I see it so often in yoga practitioners, a compassion for all living things. 

There are many other concepts that bring happiness in daily life.  What works for you? Share the love and infuse the joy to up your own happiness quotient.  Smiley face.

Say No Way to BPA

I've been aware of BPA since 2008 when Consumer Reports released an article regarding the use of this dangerous toxin in plastic bottles.  Bisphenol-A is a plastic and resin ingredient used to line metal food and drink cans, and it's a main building block for polycarbonate (PC) plastics. Basically it makes the plastic harder. The danger presents itself when BPA leeks into the food or water providing a contaminant to what you have purchased.  At that time the potential danger spoke to me as a mother of four kids participating in athletics and carrying plastic bottles around on a daily basis.  I specifically remember rummaging through a drawer (and small fortune) of Nalgene plastic bottles and tossing them in the trash.

Recently I have been reintroduced to this issue when I read about the high amounts of BPA in canned foods.  Specifically the following statement released by The Organics Consumer Association, took my breath away, "  BPA mimics the effect of estrogen in the body. In animal studies, small amounts of the chemical, as little as 25 parts per billion, have been linked to conditions such as early puberty and cancer." (In the 1930s, BPA was used as a synthetic substitute for the female hormone estrogen.) At one point this may have been a sentence I would have skimmed over.  But after a diagnosis of estrogen receptor positive breast cancer in 2009, (age 40, no risk factors) the idea that a can of tomatoes was the potential culprit really hit home.

Here's the craziest part.  After years of buying organic cans of foods at a significantly higher cost I make the discovery that most of them are packaged in BPA lined cans. I can't think of a better time to write it. WTF?!? So the many years of serving enough vegetables to my family believing that canned foods provided extra vitamins (many can manufacturers spin the value of canned foods even exceeds fresh because the vegetables are picked at their height of freshness and then sealed in) is now overridden by the idea that I was plateing a nice little helping of a chemical toxins too.

So I wrote to two of the companies I frequently buy canned goods from, Muier Glen Organics and Trader Joes inquiring on their use of using BPA lined cans and their plans for alternatives. Here are their responses:

From Muier Glen:

Most metal cans in the food industry utilize BPA in the can lining or can lid. Some of our products do, and many competitors′ products do as well.

Muir Glen continues to believe BPA is safe. However, we know that some of our consumers have wanted us to pursue alternatives. We have been working with our can suppliers and can manufacturers to develop and test alternative linings that do not use BPA for some time.

From Trader Joes: Please know that this is an industry-wide issue for manufacturers of
food-grade cans and canned foods. Work is being done within the industry to develop alternative, BPA-free linings for canned products. The cannedfood industry has relied on this method for many years and is scrambling to come up with solutions that do not trade one perceived problem for a
degradation in food safety.

All of our products and packaging are within food safety guidelines and regulations.

(Editors note: A call to Trader Joes public relations revealed that canned corn, canned beans, canned fish, canned poultry, and canned beef at Trader Joe's are all packaged in BPA free cans.)

Most companies, including organics, are using BPA in the name of food safety.  One exception is Eden Foods, a natural and organic food company based in Michigan which sells most of its canned food, except the highly acidic tomato products, in BPA-free cans. Eden's president, Micheal Potter, (a pioneer on the non-GMO project as well as a leader in using BPA free cans)  states that most canned-good manufacturers should have no trouble following his company's lead, given that a 15-ounce BPA-free can costs only 2.2 cents more.

So what is the hold up? My husband asked me if it wasn't safe, why wasn't the FDA all over it.  I'm sure that is what most consumers think.  And yet, I am newly distrustful of our government agencies designed to protect our safety. See: Concerns for our Food Industry and the discussion regarding deregulation of genetically engineered alfafa.  As recently as 2008, Consumer Reports reported, " the FDA pronounced the chemical safe for use in baby bottles and other food containers,  even though a 2008 report from another federal agency, the National Toxicology Program, concluded that BPA  was of “some concern for effects on the brain, behavior and prostate gland in fetuses, infants and children at current human exposures.”  Consumer Reports states that  "food safety experts at Consumers Union believe federal regulatory guidelines—which are the same as those set by the European Food Safety Authority—are outdated and fail to adequately protect consumers." A year ago, FDA Commissioner Margaret Hamburg announced a shift in her agency's stance on the health risks posed by BPA but as of today the agency continues to maintain that it is taking steps to evaluate the risks imposed. And as of today the USDA has missed 3 of its self-imposed deadlines on issuing consumer guidelines on the risks of BPA.

Plus, is all of these "taking steps" enough? The scientists at the Center for Disease Control found BPA in more than 90% of the urine samples representative of the U.S. population. Currently there are over 200 independent studies confirming the health concerns surrounding BPA including 92% of 163 government-funded studies finding "significant negative effects" from low-level exposure to BPA. Based on these studies, the average person might consider ways in which to lower their risk to BPA but it won't be easy. In a November 2009, New York Times article, author Nicholas Kristof claims that the "US now produces the equivalent of six pounds of BPA per person per year."

So why do food companies continue to manufacture in BPA lined cans?  The Grocery Manufacturers Association continues to maintain despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary that " Bisphenol A (BPA) has been used for more than 30 years to improve the safety and quality of food and beverages, primarily by providing protective coatings for cans. Scientists and regulatory agencies that continue to watch the latest science and have reviewed BPA have repeatedly concluded that BPA is safe for use in these products." 

The truth seems to lie somewhere in the challenges that manufacturers face switching to a safer alternative. They state concerns of potential cost constraints, lack of viable substitutions, and posing a confusion for consumers. And  continue to maintain its safety. The BPA industry itself fiercly denies any significant risk.  (Incidently, the BPA industry uses the same lobbying firm as the tobacco industry, another danger that our government agencies moved famously slow on.)

What can we do? Vote with your pocketbook.  Eden has been effectively been canning its foods in a BPA free can since 1999.  Another safe alternative are Pomi boxed tomatoes. They are delicious, available for order by the case from the manufacturer as well as amazon.com.  Four companies that are actively pursuing safe alternatives to BPA lined cans are Hain Celestial, Con Agra, HJ. Hein, and General Mills but at this time are still using BPA.

Click here for the summary scorecard of Manufacturers plans to phase out BPA.

The best we can do is spead the word about the potential dangers, be a conscious consumer, and lean towards, fresh, organic, and local foods.

I kicked cancer's ass so why does acceptance allude me?

Wrote this latest post for my favorite online publication: Elephant Journal : 

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/02/acceptance-is-love-on-valentines-day--via-amy-annis

"Accept - then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it."
— Eckhart Tolle

Read this quote recently and my very first thought was uh oh, I’m in trouble.  For me acceptance is the Holy Grail, the elusiveness of it in my life fuels my anxiety.  As far as that Tolle quote goes, acceptance still seems so far out of my reach in my in yoga practice, in my mothering role, and most of all in regards to my status as a cancer survivor. So I sat down recently to use the one tool, writing, that at a very minimum leads me to an understanding of myself. Perhaps then acceptance will at least be in my line of vision.

My Yoga:  I decided first that before acceptance there needs to be an understanding. In the past every time I have tried to write about what yoga means to me, I immediately turned into a fuzzy brained imbecile looking blankly at my computer screen.  Is it because I haven’t reached spiritual enlightenment yet?  Yep, pretty sure that is a big part of it. In fact, I’m not even close.  I’m ok with that (read, acceptance without understanding).  In fact, even if I could get close to the grasp of enlightenment I’m pretty sure my busy mamma life wouldn’t allow the luxury of time to bask in it.  So, I am really OK with not being there.  My yoga stuff is so much pettier.  Like, the fact that my right hamstring never seems to lengthen after man years of yoga.  So accept that Amy.  It may never lengthen another centimeter.  But perhaps if you could just breathe into the intensity of that stretch and allow your mind to release, it is good enough.  That’s what I keep telling myself anyway. In the meantime, I try to push away my desire for acceptance in my yoga world telling myself that the asanas don’t require perfection.

I realized the other day that at least 95 percent of my yoga clients are looking for one thing from my class, space in their bodies.  They want to walk away in yoga bliss relishing in the fact that their physically self feels better.  There is a lot of writing about our western culture only grasping a piece of the yoga puzzle, that of their physical body.  But what if that’s ok?  As a yoga teacher I will never profess to be any sort of spiritual guide.  I can only lean on my personal life experiences and incorporate a practice from there.  I can guide a class through asanas and speak of the benefits of breath and meditation in a way that each student develops an awareness of those components of yoga.  What they do with that awareness is their personal journey.  My theory is simple, that they will move with more intelligence and incorporate a stress reducing breath while they are hauling their 3 kids to sports activities after a busy mamma day. Or perhaps the runners in my class will take the time to reset their imbalances in an effort to extend the life of what they love to do, run. Maybe the women on a yoga retreat will go home with the mindset of finding presence in their everyday life.  Hopefully they all just hone their yoga life skills.

My Mothering:  When I was young (and dumb) I thought I could only accept what was perfect.  Whoa.  Big mistake thinking I could ever reach a state of perfection in the area of parenting. The oxymoron of perfect parenting is the fact that kids mess up the whole equation.  I have never met a perfect parent.  And the only ones who think that they will achieve that status are usually the ones who have not yet bore children. I joke that one of my four kids will someday write a book about me and the word dearest will be in the title. Not true of course but I am all about being real in the parenting department.  If I can raise our four to have a nice blend of compassion and concentration regarding the world they live in I will accept that I have fulfilled my mamma duties.

Working towards acceptance in the parenting sense is understanding that all of my imperfections as a mother combined with my kids quirks make for a pretty imperfect family life.  Roll with the punches is the best advice another mom gave to me.  And I can accept that sometimes the punch may cause a bruise, but eventually the bruise heals.

My Cancer Survivor Status:  In this respect I am still so far from my truth.  My illness is no longer visible.  And my body has healed.  And yet my mind and spirit are still a heaping wet mess of slop that I can’t recover.  I’m convinced it is because of my lack of acceptance here.  How is it that I have the power of the mind to be present but then later still cannot fully comprehend why I was diagnosed with cancer?  Cancer affects one in four without regards to age, socioeconomics, gender, and lifestyle.  My brain knows all of this.  And yet, it still wants, even requires, an answer of how and why.  The doctors tell me I will never know. Acceptance is miles and miles away.

Recently the anger returned again.  It usually surfaces around the time of a doctor visit.   I’ve been told that the will-it-return fear never goes away and this makes me angry.  I’ve decided that my acceptance should be (is not yet) that I have no control.  I can eat the healthiest of foods, practice yoga, and work consistently to manage stress in my life.  But it still may return. The cockiness of my health attitude pre-cancer was naïve. And yet, the loss of that naivety after diagnosis was a major emotional theft.  I know too much now…….and cannot accept it.

I learned a lot because of cancer.  But not complete acceptance. Not yet anyway.  I’ll never be on the same intellectual page as Eckhart Tolle but maybe, just maybe, that in my quest for acceptance I can at least understand and love myself a little more.

A Juice a Day for Happy Cells

When I was diagnosed with cancer I had a fabulous support team.  And I received some amazing gifts from those who loved me.  Two of my favorites I still use on a regular basis.


The first was the book, Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips by Kris Carr.  My sister sent it to me and at first I was a little shocked, just by the title.  Never heard anyone refer to cancer as sexy and I really wasn't feeling it myself at that point.  But reading through it was a great experience.  The author had a sassy kick- ass approach to her cancer diagnosis and I remember thinking I was going to plow through my fight with as much of the same attitude that I could muster.  Her writing inspired my writing.  And it was my yoga and my writing that got me through the next nine months. (And, my cancer posse......another blog post).

Another fabulous life change that I took from  the book was juicing.  Kris Carr sings the praises of juicing and my favorite concept was sending those cancer devils to their death with my immune boosting juice war. There is a feeling of powerlessness at times  with cancer but this was another weapon in my fight.  It gave me control. My sister followed up the book gift with a group gift of an Omega Juicer that she and my BFF's from high school chipped in for.  My affair with juicing began and I am proud to say that I have since then inspired quite a few other friends to juice.

Sooooo, here are my favorite juice recipes.  Use organic whenever you can.  Even if you aren't sick I can promise you (I promise) that juice will make your body feel better.  Don't get too technical about the sizes/amounts.....just throw it all in and juice yourself silly.

Sunset Cocktail

1 small beet
1 orange
1 apple
2 carrots
handful of grapes (great sweetener!)

And, my newest fav. from Kris Carr's book:

Key Lime Smoothie

1 avocado
1 peeled and seeded lime
1 cup of coconut water
cucumber
2 tsp. stevia
Sometimes I add a handful of romaine or a kiwi to make it really sweet. I also put the juice through a second time to really blend the avocado in.

Yum.

Concerns Regarding our Food Industry

Bear with me folks, this topic really ruffles my feathers.  I intend to keep this post simple as so many others have already written eloquently on the topic.  My goal here is to create awareness. Consider sharing this information with your friends ; it is our best line of defense.

As a conscious consumer  I was saddened by the recent decision by USDA Secretary Vilsack to deregulate genetically engineered alfalfa.  What is the impact on our environment and the future of our organics?  There is a myriad of conflicting information but I've tried to gather a few of the basic facts to share with my friends, family, and online community. Bottom line, it is disheartening.

The Organic Trade Association just released this legislative alert, "On January 27, the Obama Administration made the damaging decision to approve the unrestricted cultivation of genetically engineered (GE) alfalfa. This means GE alfalfa can be planted without any federal requirements to prevent contamination of organic and non-GE crops. It also means that GE alfalfa does not have to be labeled, making it difficult for consumers to identify and avoid."

Monsanto, the corporation responsible for chemicals Agent Orange, Saccharin, DDT, and rbST (growth hormone for cows), is the creator of Round-Up Ready, genetically engineered alfalfa seed. With the deregulation of this seed, farmers who grow products without pesticides will eventually be crop affected by this seed; its only a matter of time and they have no protective means. There is almost no argument against the strong possibility that genetically modified alfalfa will cross-pollinate non-GM alfalfa.

As per the Organics Consumer Organization, "The biotech industry and Organic Inc. are supremely conscious of the fact that North American consumers, like their European counterparts, are wary and suspicious of GMO foods. Even without a PhD, consumers understand you don't want your food safety or environmental sustainability decisions to be made by out-of-control chemical companies like Monsanto, Dow, or Dupont - the same people who brought you toxic pesticides, Agent Orange, PCBs, and now global warming. Industry leaders are acutely aware of the fact that every single industry or government poll over the last 16 years has shown that 85-95% of American consumers want mandatory labels on GMO foods. Why? So that we can avoid buying them. GMO foods have absolutely no benefits for consumers or the environment, only hazards."

Without getting into all of the hazard of GMO's and genetically engineered crops, as a mother, yoga teacher, and cancer survivor I feel compelled to write that I strongly believe that our food industry and the USDA has failed us.  Genetically engineered foods saturate our diet; even for the most well-intentioned consumers.  And the health hazards, which include cancer, are insurmountable and unmeasurable.

One of the best articles I read regarding the topic is by Denise, EatPlayLove blogger
http://eatplaylove.blogspot.com/2011/01/why-my-heart-hurts-for-america.html . Denise offers great advice as to what steps we can take as consumers as it seems like we have quite the fight on our hands.

 

What Cancer (and Yoga) have Taught Me.

This post was hard to write. And I've been putting it off for awhile.  It's been on my brain since August of 2010 when I reached my one year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis.  But when I sat down to write it then, the words did not come together at all, so I shelved it.  Over the last several months I've been stashing little bits and pieces of "what I've learned" in my notes.  When it did finally come together I liked it and I really liked how it made me to feel getting it down on paper, or in this day and age, down on laptop.

 I offered it to some yoginis whose writings I respect and was overjoyed when Chris Courtney from Elephant Journal offered me the opportunity to share. Love the EJ and am still pinching myself.

Soooooo, you can read here or visit the Elephant: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/01/what-cancer-taught-me--via-amy-annis/

Either way....thanks for reading!

What Cancer taught me:

I'll start off with the lightest lesson:

  Hair is Optional: Insert tongue in cheek.  Loosing hair through chemo was rough....not going to lie.  The initial idea of loosing something that defines your femininity was worse then the hair falling out itself. It was even rougher on my kids who weren't at all used to seeing their very active mother look ill. In fact, when I told them I had cancer they cried but when our 13 year old asked me if I would lose my hair and the answer was yes, the room turned into complete chaos.  It never occurred to my husband or I that the visual of a bald mother was much more devastating then the difficult to even comprehend word, cancer.  After it completely fell out (about 3 treatments into the process) it became much more acceptable.  Friends and family sent me the greatest hats and dare I say that I rocked them.  As it began to grow back last spring, I decided to match my new hair with my cancer ass kicking attitude and dyed it platinum.  Never (in a million years) would have done that pre-cancer but again this was the new Amy.

It's OK to say No



Oprah tells us it's OK and even writes on how to do it with etiquette.  But I was the mom that needed to wear the "stop me before I volunteer again" button on her jacket.  Not that I loved baking four dozen perfectly frosted cupcakes for the schools big event tomorrow but I was way too concerned with being the supermom, admittedly sometimes for appearances sake.  The irony of overextending myself during the day and then not having time or energy to engage with my kids (without being crabby) was not lost on me.  Internally I knew it was crazy, but nonetheless would get sucked up again the following week.

The year I was sick was a  free pass from volunteering.  I rested during the day and then would take special delight in small simple activities with them when they came home from school.  It was a hard lesson learned and I will still volunteer occasionally but I don't have any guilt when I say no.  I honestly believe my kids are a little better of because of it.

At 41, I still Need My Mom

I'm pretty sure that my recovery process was expedited by having both my mom and my mother-in-law take over many of the responsibilities of raising my four kids while I was sick. They cooked, drove, cleaned, and helped with homework.  Most importantly they buffered the emotional hit that my kids dealt with during pretty influential years of their lives.  It was unbelievable to me that at 64, my mother could still be up at 6 am driving them to school and helping me throughout the day and then be actively helping them with homework sometimes til 10:00 at night while I was sick. I'm sure it was very painful for her but she never complained.

Be Present



Yoga taught me this but cancer shoved it down my throat.  I didn't practice mindful presence when I was going through treatment because I was very focused on moving through the  process and looking forward to the road ahead.  But now, more than ever,  I allow myself to appreciate the present moment.  Yoga teaches us that all that really exists is this moment we are in.  So I enjoy it more and relish time with friends and family.  Pre-cancer I was cocky about my health.  I was an organic-eating, non-smoking, yoga teacher for God sakes.  A 40 year routine mammogram turned my life upside down in the matter of five hours and although I will always gravitate towards the healthy lifestyle that I promote and love, I will never be cocky about it again.

Do What you Love; Love what you Do



Sorry for the cliche but this was Cancer's greatest lesson.  I adore yoga and working with students but as a risk adverse individual was afraid to turn my passion into my own business.  Now, every day I am not only doing what I love the most but sharing it with friends both new and old.  My favorite quote is by Go Daddy's CEO Bob Parsons, ""You come up with something you think will work, then you put everything you have into it." That motivation, along with support and gentle nudging by my peeps led me to develop the Madeline Island Yoga Retreats concept. 

I'm not much of a television watcher but recently began the first season of The Big C.  The main character's cancer diagnosis leads her to re-evaluate her life and make the very most of what's left of it.  So many of her actions, although sometimes selfish, made sense to me. I swear I had many of the same thoughts she expresses on the show.  It is surreal. The show has just been renewed for a second season.



So there it is.....always feels good to write something down. I went to a yoga training in Minneapolis with yoga teacher Rod Stryker last Sunday and was most touched by his comment on dealing with change. He said,  "Anybody can accept good change, it is the individuals who walk through bad change with grace that inspire me the most."  I'm going to remember that one for a long time. BTW,   I blogged throughout my cancer journey on Big Sky Yoga Retreats site (special note: also an excellent yoga retreat destination). 



Living Strong through LIVESTRONG

"Funny what a difference a year makes". That was my husband's comment the other day to a friend who asked him about my health. I think we both found irony in the understatement.

A year ago I was in the throes of chemo for breast cancer. And today I attended a LIVESTRONG foundation conference which in collaboration with the YMCA of America is looking to bring cancer support programs to communities. Eau Claire, WI is on board.


I was excited and felt quite prepared to both discuss what it feels like to be a cancer patient and to develop a program that would assist cancer patients both physically and mentally reach their health care goals, a passion of mine. In addition, I appreciated the need to transition a person going through treatment back into everyday life. One of the crazy phenomenon of being a patient is that you spend a very good deal of your time (often several days a week) in a medical setting receiving all kinds of care. And then one day they say, "OK, you are done". No complaints at the time, however; there is that lost feeling of "now what. " The treatments stop but the confusion lingers. In addition, you are left with your own realization that the fear will never go away as well as a lovely stack of medical bills on your desk to boot.

And yet, prepared as I was, it only took a few minutes of viewing Lance Armstrong's video The Manifesto for the hollow feeling in my heart to come back. I thought I had worked through these emotions crying buckets of tears with my family and friends. And yet it honestly felt almost as raw as that first week of diagnosis.

My only guess is that living through that year and respectively coming full circle it occur ed to me that I may have found the one answer that I had been chasing since day one, "why me?" I believe we receive messages from God, once we find the capacity to listen. I'm hoping I'm right and that now its my turn through LIVESTRONG, through yoga, and through everyday life, to bring compassion to cancer survivors. Then this will make some sense to me.

Live Strong, Live Strong Eau Claire.