Perspective

Today was supposed to be family fun day and from the moment I woke up I was feeling anything but fun.  It seems a head cold has set its sights on me and despite the fact that I was very busy all week I was still behind.  However, we went out to enjoy lunch with the family and then a quick trip to the bookstore so that my husband could pick out a new book for Tess’s classroom. (He is the mystery reader in two weeks – shhhhhhhh).

The bookstore trip turned out to be more than quick as my husband ordered up a tray full of bookstore lounging style beverages, biscotti, and several magazines to peruse. He also found a head scratcher that somewhat resembles an egg scrambler and decided that our family needed one of those, maybe even two.  So while everyone was kicking back, perusing, and marveling at the tingly feeling one received from said head scratcher I was getting that tight breath that occurs when you start to worry about everything that has to be done.    

Yes, we bought it. 

An older lady was smiling at the kids and she and Ted started up a conversation.  She decided the head scratcher was a very worthwhile concept and had Grace find her one for her head too.  Everyone decided that the scratchers were really great and that everyone should have one.  They even had the potential to double as hats.

I was getting very crabby.

Finally, I mustered up enough umpf to put a smile on my face and said to the older woman, “I’m sorry but I’m going to have to drag these joksters away as we have wasted enough time and I have so much to do.  She smiled the sweetest smile ever and said to me, “but time is never wasted if you are enjoying it with your family”.

Yep.  Life schooled again.

Kids Unplugged

Teddy is his favorite class,
Ecomnomics with Mr. Lud

In our home my husband and I are the perpetual managers of four very active and tech savy kids.  Despite the fact that I agonize over it; they are often plugged in.  By many family standards I have probably done OK, mindfully keeping them active in outdoor play, athletic activities, time with friends, and family connections.  But the challenge is daunting especially since the world they live in perpetuates that plugging in is appropriate.  Even in school they now sit at a desk with  computer notebooks. 

I think the biggest problem is trying to find a healthy balance.  But what is that? As a child I had one computer in our school library that I got to sign up for once a month (yes, I am dating myself).  My kids roll their eyes when I talked about those ancient days but it was not something my parents ever had to worry about.  No monitoring of cell phones, computer time, or even TV was necessary back then.  The technology in their lives never rests and taunts them with continuous updates to keep them even more tech-connected. My kids just installed fliptoast on my computer so we can get status updates from Facebook right on our desktop erasing even the slightest inconvenience of logging in. What’s next?  In their world the “next” is only days away.

And admittedly, there are times I appreciate the convenience of technology for my family.  After school texts from the older three clue me in to what they are doing for after school activities and when they need a ride. Big time saver and mind-easer for mom.   

Treasured time on the trails.

Still, there is a need for mind clearing in their lives. Some bit of simplicity.  That getting lost in the bookstore feeling, or a long hike through the woods with the dogs. I long for these opportunities myself to keep my self centered and balanced.  As products of my upbringing I can only imagine that their souls crave it too.

Lately I’ve noticed two of my daughters find their zen time in their musical instruments.  Similar to my time on a yoga mat; they can become lost either on the piano (Kiki- 14) or strumming a guitar (Grace -12).  This is literally magic to my musically untrained ears.  Last week I took some video of both of them playing.  Because I was there, camera in hand, it erased  the emotion of music that I hear when I’m listening behind their closed doors. That’s when they really allow themselves to get lost in what they love……unplugged.      

Merry December 26th

As Christmas 2011 slowly fades and my focus changes from entertaining extended family to nurturing my own small brood; I can't help but feel mixed emotions.  Nostalgia for those Christmas moments that I know I'll never forget, to a bit of resentment over the way Christmas sped by this year. And guilt of course for feeling the resentment during this supposed to be purely magical season of joy. Apologies to those who I didn't connect with through Christmas cards or words of cheer.  It wasn't that I forgot. 

I realize that its funny that I'm a yoga teacher who works with people to manage stress and yet I fall into the same stress traps that I warn others of. It's nothing short of hypocritical. But as today was progressing (or shall I say spiraling), into a direction that I had in no way planned, I felt out of control.  I've mentioned it before; I'm a bit type A, and an entire day of unplanned activities is unsettling to say the least. It was even bad unplanned activities. They were just unplanned. I had to tell myself the same thing I say to everyone else.  Breathe Amy, just breathe.

Once I arrived home tonite and had a little time to myself, I was able to pull my thoughts together.  Writing and yoga seem to be two of my happy places so here I sit at a computer without any real writing agenda.  Just allowing the words to release on my screen allows me to arrange my thoughts in a nice orderly fashion and that systematic yogic breath happens even here.  I can even feel my shoulders release.

My favorite Christmas moment was watching my kids give each other the presents they had picked out on their own.  The teens now have the maturity and where-with-all to do their own Christmas shopping and I was delighted with their thoughtfulness and generosity. TWTB "Those whom typically Bicker" were throwing arms around each other and giggling with each other most of day.

A good Christmas moment.

Life will return to normal after I recover from this Christmas crash.  The decorations will slowly come down and the house will return to everyday structured and planned activities.  And hopefully at the end of those long busy days I will remember not my own little mall meltdown on the 26th of December but the moments that really made Christmas meaningful in 2011. Merry December 26th everyone.  It's time to settle into that long winter's nap.

December's Dilemma

I had to dust off my keyboard to write this one; my December dilemma is (of course) a lack of time to do things like oh, say, ....... think?  My brain is overloaded with just managing the four Christmas programs, Christmas parties, purchasing, and preparing. All on top of the regular activities of four busy kids.

Don't get me wrong. I do love the holidays.  I just wish they would stop passing me by and wait for me to catch up. 

Today, as I was have an internal struggle with the fact that  I hadn't yet created the Annis holiday card that we have faithfully sent for the last 17 years of marriage, I came across the a note my seven year old had written me right before she left for school.  She placed a picture of herself right next to it and laid it on my desk.

 


Nothing beats the wisdom of babes to put a spin on my perspective.  No more bah humbugs or complaints about being too busy.  No more worrying so much about not making cookies and fudge.  At least a little less worrying.  I'll really try; I promise.  Because nothing outranks the above. 

Merry Christmas to all. May your little moments of this season shine the brightest.

No T.V. Summers

Sunset swims trump T.V. time

Just one more thing I love about Madeline Island.......

In 2009, when the rest of the world transitioned to digital television (DTV), we did not.....at least not in our Madeline Island cottage.  It just didn't feel like a priority at the time and as it turns out was one of the smarter parenting decisions we have made (we gamely admit to making a few mistakes too.) What occurred to me recently was despite the obvious lack of mindless noise in our home at night, our living room is a hub of  family activities such as games, puzzles and art projects vs. all of us staring mindlessly at the black box.

My husband insisted we have a DVD player for movies but fortunately there are only so many times you can watch School of Rock and Shrek 4.  Despite my disdain for the clutter of puzzle pieces last night I was delighted as all of the kids(and Dad) gathered for some good Disney puzzle magic. I wonder if we can go T.V.-less in the winter months too.....

Toy Story Clouds Today

This morning I drove my teen son to the summer camp he will be working at most of the summer.  Mixed emotions as I listened to a man/child discuss his theory of life. 

I decided long ago that time alone with a child in the car is one of the best opportunities we moms have to connect with our kids.  It used to be a nature hike or bed tucking - in time, but the big kids don’t offer themselves up for those childish routines anymore (sniff, sniff.)  In fact it is highly likely that even during a quiet nature walk they would insist on walking two feet ahead or two feet behind.

And yet, for forty five  solid minutes I had his undivided attention.  I did have to endure his radio station but he kindly agreed to at least keep it at a decent decibel level.

What struck me was not the mature talk of what his future brings.  He discussed his love of history and architecture as well as concerns about college and ACT prep.  He talked about football practice this coming fall and how he imagines life as a high school junior and car license holder (look out world).  What struck me the most was his pause when he turned his head up towards the sky and announced, “ Hey Mom,  look.  The clouds look like Toy Story clouds.”

My take:  He focuses on the big picture but even his teenager brain can appreciate the beauty of simple,  everyday things.  I’d like to think and really hope that perhaps I can take just a little bit of credit for that.

Play Outside - Why Our Kids Need More Green Time

Our family's green time at Madeline Island's
beautiful State Park.

I have YMCA  kids. Four of them.  They have been Y kids all of their life experiencing swim team, basketball, Halloween parties,  and more recently as they have gotten older Camp Manitou.

I admit sending kid one there was kind of tough. Not on him, on me.  Would he brush his teeth, keep his clothes organized, and shower on a regular basis?  I remember asking Carol, Camp Manitou’s Chief keeper of kids, those questions before his first session.  She smiled knowingly and answered, “No, he won’t.”  And she was right.  Not only did he not regularly shower, the dirt in his knees took three days to scrub off when he returned home.

But he was alright.  Actually, more than alright.  Year after year as we sent him and then our daughters, they returned different kids.  Dare I say, more mature and knowing, as though they had experienced something special and unique and were forever changed for the experience.  How it happened wasn’t always available to us as parents.  It wasn’t in the funny stories they told about kids in their cabins, latrine hazards, or adventures on the big bopper.  It wasn’t even about the new friends we knew they had made or all of the amazing team building projects they had experienced. We would get a little insight usually during the tears shed at pick up knowing that they just realized the next opportunity for completely being a kid was a summer away again.

When it comes down to it, for my children, a week at Camp Manitou is all about being a kid.  Even better, a kid outside.  Stripped away from the cell phones, computer games and all other devices requiring an electrical outlet, they get to focus on play.  It’s a respite from CNN, school stress, and family tensions.  It’s the opportunity to be in awe of nature and what the Earth provides without being required to write an essay about it.  They get to live in the outdoors and just be present in that moment.

As a business person I teach yoga and also run yoga and kayaking adventure retreat for women on Madeline Island.  Teaching yoga on the island, on the beach of Lake Superior if weather permits, I see the same benefits in adults that my kids experience at Camp Manitou.  Nature as a backdrop is profoundly impactful in releasing tensions and reconnecting to ourselves.  For younger kids, it is inherent.  But as they grow and are faced with so many expectations, it slowly wears away.  Sometimes, by the time they reach adulthood it is lost it all together. In my opinion, these camp experiences are priceless, reminding our kids to experience things outdoors and reconnect with nature.

I recently read the book, Last Child in the Woods – Saving our kids from Nature-Deficit Disorder, by Richard Louv.  The premise is simple, that our kids need more green time, but the statistics and studies supporting the evidence that children in modern families spend so much more time indoors leading to a sedentary lifestyle and childhood obesity are staggering.  We know that for kids outdoor play facilitates a more prepared brain for learning and yet opportunities for our kids are fewer and further away. Another emerging body of scientific evidence indicates that exposure to nature is essential for physical and emotional health. We can measure the relationship between nature and health and understand that time outdoors improves children’s cognitive abilities and resistance to stress and depression.

Understanding that, I’m pretty sure that is what I noticed in my kids on pick up day.  A release and a re-connect. I’m so grateful that they have the memories and know that as adults, they will always look back fondly on Camp.

My Teen's First Job

My fifteen year old son just received a letter in the mail confirming a summer job offer at the summer camp he has attended for the past five years.  He will be a member of the kitchen staff (read: dishwasher). He is ecstatic.

As his mom, I had mixed feelings about this man-child of mine receiving his first job.  This is a milestone in his life and I believe an important opportunity to establish independence and prove responsibility.  At the same time, my heart breaks with the understanding that this summer will be a small taste of what is just around the corner when he goes off to college.  It's that break from this family unit and the beginning of his own real life. (sniff, sniff).

Last night I struggled to sleep wondering how he was going to survive the summer away from the mother who has always made sure he ate balanced meals and washed his laundry.  How well of a job did I do to prepare him for a summer away from me?  Does he comprehend that he will have to actually work at the camp he has loved so much for all of the great outdoor activity?  I've vowed to up his chore list at home to include nightly kitchen cleaning and all of his own personal laundry, a concept he is currently none too happy with.

Bottom line is that this is as much of a milestone for me.  I just realized that our summers on Madeline Island were basically going to be one family member short.  I'm pleased with the son I have raised but not quite ready to accept that he is no longer all mine.

Yoga and Kids

Kids in Savasana

My favorite yoga students are little people. I think it is because they are instinctively  drawn to the movement and breath of their bodies without being embarrassed or self conscious of the world around them. I am fortunate enough to be able to teach yoga to kids at my youngest child's school. Despite their differences in ages and abilities, the majority of them seem to have a basic understanding that the combination of movement and breath is a good thing, and one to participate in.

Our kids today are busy and are often expected to live in their parents hurry-up world.  They are asked to sit still and engage all day in the classroom and then often spend their evenings doing lessons or participating in competitive sports.  I am as guilty as every one else at over scheduling my kids.  My argument, every other child is active; I don't want mine to miss out on something....although I admit at times I'm not sure what that something is.

And yet there are arguably benefits to busy and engaged kids. For example, the confidence building that comes with years and years of practice. Also, as my three oldest have each honed their musical skills I have observed that they choose to engage in their musical practice as their own personal de-stress period.  Music in its own art form is for them much like a good yoga practice is for me.....the opportunity to get lost in something beautiful and engage in the mind, body, spirit connection.

My children are fortunate to have the have the opportunity to practice yoga.  My oldest daughter has even begun to come to some of my classes with her friends.  It is such a gift to me to have the opportunity to work with kids, to see them develop body awareness, learn self-control, flexibility and a mind-body connection.  Most of all they learn right away how to take yoga out into the real world. (This is a concept that many adults seem to have such a hard time with).  Kids will tell me that when they are stressed they will pull out their mat and curl up into a child's pose.....the awareness of the necessity of giving your body a break once in while is inherent in kids.

All kids benefits from yoga but interestingly, recent studies on yoga and kids have  confirmed the fact that yoga is very good for the child who struggles with attention disorders.  These children crave movement and sensory/motor stimulus. I have found that specifically addressing kids with these challenges and asking them to transition into a pose that requires thought, movement, and balance gives them confidence and ironically a sense of calmness.  The trick is to get beyond just "doing" the pose and instead to thinking  about what the postures means.  One can grow like a tree, rooting his roots into the earth and feel strong and tall. 

All children benefit from yoga in one way or another. It's a style of learning that is natural for kids. As kinesthetic learners they can transform their understanding of yoga into a value of self health and relaxation. It encourages their self esteem and gives them a base to deal with life's challenges. The understanding of a sense of compassion for their bodies is a great gift to children.

One of my favorite books to to get your preschooler engaged in yoga is : My Daddy is a Pretzel by Baron Baptiste.

My Teens on Facebook

This last week I've done a lot of reflecting on my last year's battle with cancer and my journey of recovery, writing for the Elephant Journal and the Spoiled Yogi.  Although it was a very healing week for me personally, it also left  me feeling a little dark and heavy.  That combined with the gray skies of a January Wisconsin winter gave me a major case of the blahs. I began to mentally scan for a lighter topic to write about and fortunately my very hilarious teenagers handed me a great new blog post on a silver platter last night.



Kiki, Facebook account holder and
 Grace, not yet.



Before I tell the story I feel compelled to state that as a parent I understand the concern of other moms and dads who do not allow their teens to create a Facebook account.  My husband and I carefully considered all of the arguments against it, primarily too much screen time and therefore less time for academics and play, and also the threat of cyberbullying.  We eventually decided that as busy as we keep them in extra-curricular activities we would allow them to create an account on one condition, that they accept both Ted's and mine friend request.  And do we snoop?  Yes.




Which brings me to my funny story.  Kathryn (Kiki) is 14.  I realized about a year ago that as far as she was concerned I wasn't cool anymore.  It was a combination of eye rolls and heavy sighs when I talked to her that led me to that conclusion.  And God forbid if I ever walk next to her when her friends are around. Jeesh.

So last night she posts as her status,  "Like my status and I promise I'll write something nice about you on your wall.  Cute eh? And what a great opportunity for this mom....she promised to write something nice about me.  So....... I gave her status a BIG  thumbs up.  Fifteen minutes elapsed and my wall was still blank. Now, understand that my daughter has the fastest texting fingers in the state of Wisconsin.
I was pretty sure I was being intentionally ignored.  Perhaps she just needed a little help.

My post on her wall:  "Kiki, what about my great sense of humor?"
Her immediate response on mine:  "Mom, stop."
My next post:  "I'm a good singer."
Hers: "No.....you are not."
Me:  "But, what about my yoga skills?" 
She:  No response
Me:  "My fashion sense? Hey wait, Kiki?  Are you deleting my posts?"

By this time my 15 year old son had returned home from basketball practice and had gotten wind of our online banter.  I was giggling like a fiend in the kitchen and she was clearly mad upstairs.  He seems to still think I'm a little cool; or at least he likes the fact that I was chiding his sister, so he jumped in.  He liked her status and then posted his statement in what our family calls, Kiki -speak,  a phrase overly peppered with the word "like."

He wrote: "Like, Hey Kiki, like, what do you like, like about me?"
She: No response.
He:  "Do you think I'm like, like the best brother eva?" (editor's note: this is how they write....not a misspelled word.)

He didn't stop there.  He then posted his new status.  "Like my status and I will do absolutely nothing."  (and received many likes :)  She finally responded.  "That is not funny, Teddy".

I eventually let up and she didn't stay mad for long.  I noticed later that one of her friends had commented that I was funny........maybe underneath she realizes that I could be just a little cool..... still......maybe?

Irregardless, my children continue to bring me joy in so many different ways.  And I'm grateful for the spirit lifting that occurred in my home last night.

One extra note:

Parents who are worried about what is going on with their kids can find more information on Facebook's Safety Center, where the company has resources for parents, teens, educators and law enforcement. On Facebook, anyone over 13 is considered an "authorized account holder," so the company is forbidden to give access to others, including parents. The site encourages open communication in the family, and gives suggestions on passwords, blocking users, removing friends, reporting harassment and attacks, as well as exercising prudence on information posted on the site.

Would love to hear your thoughts on teens and facebook!

One of my New Year's Intentions - Natural Cleaning Products

So here it is..... 2011.  As I mentioned in my prior post, New Year's resolutions are for me pretty non-effective.  So much emphasis is put upon creating a new and improved version of myself that it makes me crabby.The fallout usually occurring by the end of February was ugly. So a couple of years ago I just began writing down my New Year's Intentions.  Each year I evaluate and try to upgrade.  There is something about brushing off the old and approaching the New year with gusto so at the very least I feel a little freshened by the prospect of the 2011 Amy.

This years intentions are mainly a repeat of last year's. They include remembering to bring my green bags into the grocery store, to use my juicer daily, and to search out and buy from the smaller local food distributors.  I also wrote down serving my family more scratch meals which I know is a tall order for the 6 of us.  Although I grew up in a home where most of our meals  were grown in our backyard, I admit I can still be seduced by the simplicity of today's prepared and unfortunately processed products.  However, getting a swift kick in the butt from cancer was a huge motivator to make that one a year long effort. And of course deepening my personal yoga practice is always on the list but I could write an entire blog post on that one.

The one intention I really wanted to share today was my switch over to all natural cleaning products.  Better for the environment; better for my family.  I love the Seventh Generation line of cleaning products but recently a friend gave me a bottle of her home made cleaner and I love it! Smells great and works well for multi-surface cleaning. The grapefruit seed extract and essential oils are available at most natural food stores. Shake up the ingredients in a reusable spray bottle and you are living green.

Natural Cleaner

1/4 c. vodka (no sipping while cleaning)
1/2 c. hydrogen peroxide
1 C. water
5 drops of grapefruit seed extract
10 drops of lavender essential oil
5 drops of lemon essential oil.

Mix together. 

There are many great recipes out there but this one is especially nice. Enjoy and Namaste.

A blogging we will go......

As 2010 winds down and we hunker down for a Wisconsin winter, the timing is appropriate to launch my blog. I've set many things behind me, most memorably closing the door to a year spent in cancer treatment. I'd like to say I've locked and bolted that door forever but as most survivors know that is a wish and a prayer and a whole different blog post.
Instead I look forward to a rebirth of sorts. Its hard to not spend the day smiling (and sometimes looking a bit foolish) because I'm so thrilled with the turn of events in my life. I am back to being a wife and mom of four. Technically I never left that job, but definitely relied on a community of friends and family to help me hold it together. Noticeably, the busy life of my children's scheduling doesn't bother me anymore because I am so grateful to have the strength to do it. In addition, I wrapped up my 200 hours of teacher's training through the Yoga Center of Minneapolis, launched my studio Clean Spirit Yoga, and our island yoga retreat business. My kids are involved in school, music lessons, and social engagements and once in a great while I even can sneak in a date with my husband.
Life is good.
As I publish this first post, I look forward to writing and hearing from other yogi's, mothers, survivors, and Madeline Island fans.