43 is the new 43

It’s my 43^rd birthday today and I must admit that the few days prior didn’t have that same crescendo of anticipation that those twenty-something birthdays did.  Gone are my party-girl birthdays.   They say that with age comes wisdom and it may also include a healthy dose of reflection because reflective would be a great adjective to describe my recent moods.  My party will probably consist of one good glass of wine, my husband, and an inspirational sunset and I can’t think of anything more lovely.

Looking at recent photos taken I have to admit that good lighting is much more important than it was even 5 years ago.  And yet, with those definitions of experience etched across my face I must admit I feel a bit of pride in the earning of those lines.  I mean, I really really earned them.  Several big career changes, marriage and four kids, a bout with crazy cancer, and finally the risks taken to create the life I dreamed off still has me sometimes shaking in my five finger shoes.

So, I feel 43.  I am strong from a consistent yoga practice but still see opportunity for improvement and growth.  And yet, I can finally lower the volume of the egocentric voice in my head so much faster than I could in my twenties.  I would like to think that with age comes wisdom, humility, and the ability to listen to the signals of the brain and body, and more than ever an appreciation for the gifts of a well-earned life.

Lessons learned:

1.        It takes work to be present.  Busy days, weeks, and months can fly by without really living.  And I think there were years when I was so busy raising small kids that every moment just melted together.  I know they had the chubby knuckles that I adored but how often did I stop to sketch them before they morphed into the long slender fingers that dribble basketballs and hold steering wheels.  Twenty- something year old Amy raising babies didn’t realize the fleetingness of those moments.  The 43 year old me takes more pictures, writes about more moments, and sometimes absolutely refuses to hurry. 

2.        Happy is a lifestyle.  It is easy to be mad at a boss or discontented with the current economy.  But the brain is so powerful that a continuous focus on a negative aspect of life can lead to a much stressed out existence.  It’s easy to be sucked into a spiral of negative thought patterns only to miss the beauty of the world around you.  Yes, life is tough and can hand out some pretty sour lemons.  But it is the courageous that choose to find calm among the chaos. For me, this is why I choose yoga.  A method of moving meditation literally can transform this tightly wound yogini into a blissed-out momma.

3.       Beauty is internal.  I have surrounded myself with beautiful women friends.  But it has nothing to do with the perfection of manicured hands or wrinkle free foreheads.  Their eyes tell stories; they make me laugh with their accounts of their children’s antics, take care of their health, and work to facilitate a healthy community.  I am often struck by the beauty of the women in my life.  They radiate.

4.   Before cancer I never even considered death.  Being diagnosed forced me to consider that I am and everyone is terminal.  It’s not a morbid thought really……it puts things in perspective when I start to sweat the small stuff.  I’m not as obligated to be the perfect yoga teacher, wife, and even mother.  In fact, I don’t think my kids would ever tell you that I didn’t bake 100 cupcakes for a bake sale or sign them up for a sports related activity each season.  They do notice when I’m stressed out because of the trickle down affect it has on my family.  When I’m in balance, my family is in balance. 

Blessings on my Birthday

I have learned some good stuff. But this reflective blogger and yogini couldn’t move forward without understanding that there is still much to learn.  And will these lessons be valuable or even similar at age 53?  Probably not.  But I still wish I could have shared these thoughts with 23 year old Amy. It would have saved her a lot of headaches.

Meet Nancy: Our Third and Final Courage is Contagious Scholarship Recipient

Our third and final 2012 scholarship recipient for The Courage is Contagious Project is Nancy. We are thrilled to offer Nancy some encouragement and solace on Madeline Island after a grueling year.  She is a true example of a woman of courage.  Her friend and co-worker Jan wrote the nomination.

I would like to nominate my friend Nancy Nevinski as a woman of courage.  When I first met Nancy seven years ago, she said she would grow on me like a fungus, and boy was she right! I soon found her to be one of the most intelligent, uplifting people I know.  Whenever I need advice or someone to just listen to me I always turn to her.  But I know her life has not been easy.

Her daughter has a learning disorder, and Nancy performed intensive early intervention to help her overcome the related symptoms. Nancy's husband Dennis was also diagnosed with frontal lobe syndrome. This was devastating to their family, but they seemed to get along with much love and support, as they were each others biggest fans.

In September, Nancy was diagnosed with breast cancer-yet another blow.  She had a bilateral mastectomy and IV chemotherapy.  Her husband Dennis was by her side taking care of his “sweetie girl”.

Unfortunately this was not the end of bad news- Nancy’s husband Dennis became suddenly ill with viral myocarditis and all of his organs were shutting down.  Nancy was by his side night and day making sure he had the best of care and that she did exactly what he would have wanted.  After eleven long days, it became apparent he would not recover and he passed away.  My heart breaks for Nancy as she so bravely came through her cancer only to lose her best friend.

Nancy has handled all of her adversities in life with grace and humor which is why I would like to nominate her for the 5ive Madeline Island getaway. Several years ago Nancy lost 100 lbs. She loves to kayak, do walking marathons, and snowshoe so this experience would be a perfect fit for her.

Initially when Jen from 5 for Women and I had set up The Courage is Contagious Project we intended to start small and offer two scholarships.  We were not prepared for the amazing nominations and shows of exemplary courage that rolled in.  We ending up choosing three women to join us, understanding that this project has bigger plans than it's developers, and through grace and a little Madeline Island magic, we can offer more and more scholarships each year.

We only have room for 2 more for the Fall Yoga and Wellness Retreat.  Please consider reserving your spot today!

Goodnight 2011

It's always interesting to close down a year for me. There is always so much anticipation leading up to Christmas but its the days after that I appreciate the quiet and the extra time with my family. And then there is  time to reflect on the old year and anticipate the new.

Looking back on 2011 I am grateful for many things.  New friends on retreats, long standing friendships that I had a chance to develop, and of course good health.  At times I felt busier than ever before. Maybe because of that I am more nostalgic as my children have rapidly grown and it has finally occurred to me that these fleeting moments cannot be paused.  I miss having a baby in the house and have realized that perhaps I need to stop "babying" the seven year old who has ignored my requests to stop growing. And as the oldest begins planning a list of colleges to visit, I can't help but look at his 6 foot 2 inch man child face and wonder when he stopped playing with Thomas the Tank engine.

Looking ahead, I love January because it almost always inspires people to start fresh with a new fitness program or focus on health. As a yoga teacher, (and one who writes occasionally),  I am excited to share my passion for healthful living with others.  Inevitably my yoga classes are busier then usual with an renewed interest in developing a practice. I love that!

I wrote a piece for The Athleta Chi blog on Considering the Possibilities of the New Year.  I kind of like the idea of envisioning 2012 as one big possibility. Goodnight 2011; hello 2012.

Headstand on Madeline's Capser Trail.  Gain a new perspective by flipping upside down.

No T.V. Summers

Sunset swims trump T.V. time

Just one more thing I love about Madeline Island.......

In 2009, when the rest of the world transitioned to digital television (DTV), we did not.....at least not in our Madeline Island cottage.  It just didn't feel like a priority at the time and as it turns out was one of the smarter parenting decisions we have made (we gamely admit to making a few mistakes too.) What occurred to me recently was despite the obvious lack of mindless noise in our home at night, our living room is a hub of  family activities such as games, puzzles and art projects vs. all of us staring mindlessly at the black box.

My husband insisted we have a DVD player for movies but fortunately there are only so many times you can watch School of Rock and Shrek 4.  Despite my disdain for the clutter of puzzle pieces last night I was delighted as all of the kids(and Dad) gathered for some good Disney puzzle magic. I wonder if we can go T.V.-less in the winter months too.....

Toy Story Clouds Today

This morning I drove my teen son to the summer camp he will be working at most of the summer.  Mixed emotions as I listened to a man/child discuss his theory of life. 

I decided long ago that time alone with a child in the car is one of the best opportunities we moms have to connect with our kids.  It used to be a nature hike or bed tucking - in time, but the big kids don’t offer themselves up for those childish routines anymore (sniff, sniff.)  In fact it is highly likely that even during a quiet nature walk they would insist on walking two feet ahead or two feet behind.

And yet, for forty five  solid minutes I had his undivided attention.  I did have to endure his radio station but he kindly agreed to at least keep it at a decent decibel level.

What struck me was not the mature talk of what his future brings.  He discussed his love of history and architecture as well as concerns about college and ACT prep.  He talked about football practice this coming fall and how he imagines life as a high school junior and car license holder (look out world).  What struck me the most was his pause when he turned his head up towards the sky and announced, “ Hey Mom,  look.  The clouds look like Toy Story clouds.”

My take:  He focuses on the big picture but even his teenager brain can appreciate the beauty of simple,  everyday things.  I’d like to think and really hope that perhaps I can take just a little bit of credit for that.